


enjoy is spelled e n j o y not endure

by truistic



Series: bits and pieces of brad and ray [1]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 19:32:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13577472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truistic/pseuds/truistic
Summary: brad can't stop thinking about ray.post gen kill.





	enjoy is spelled e n j o y not endure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amante_del_latte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amante_del_latte/gifts).



it’s painfully obvious, he misses ray. it’s more painful than obvious, actually.

 

he tries not to think about it.

missing ray, that is. but everything reminds him of ray.

 

in the plane to england he wonders if ray and him will share the seats but remembers ray is not here.

remembers he hadn’t even say goodbye to him.

that he didn’t ask for his number- and god does that sound gay.

this is why he doesn’t want to think of ray, because it’s fucked up freudian slips. and he’s done thinking about it.

 

but even if he tries not to, he’s reminded when he’s surrounded by people and feels alone.

all dramatic and emo.

only ray singing complicated is missing from this.

and there he is again.

he needs to man up.

he shuts his lizard brain playing ray’s stupid singing.

 

there’s a dude called liam.

he never stops talking.

he looks nothing like ray,

doesn’t sound like ray and its funny because he wish that were ray running his mouth about thick accents and spotted dick.

dicks.

why does his mind always backfires him?

 

he decides enough is enough.

he won’t think of ray.

 

of course he dreams about ray.

because subconsciously speaking? he doesn’t miss ray. no.

he’s actually pining for him.

like in a fucking novel.

pining over a messy, scrawny, big mouthed twink.

 

he dreams of the tour.

singing along with ray.

dimples.

that stupid pink milkshake and this is where it turns weird.

ray looking at him. from below. no pink milkshake but his cum. all over ray’s mouth.

he stares at his big eyes.

the debauched look on his face when he bites and then licks his lip.

 

brad wakes up in the middle of the night like he’s a fucking teenager again.

what the fuck.

 

maybe he’s still out of his mind in the morning because he calls poke. he isn’t even subtle just straight up asks for ray’s number.

there’s nothing straight in that.

in that self deprecating note he realised what he’s just done and decides against it.

he won’t call.

 

it’s mid training, almost a month without thinking about the dream or anything, when he has the most intrusive thought.

he’s not gay.

he only likes ray.

 

is the only thing he thinks the whole day.

 

he’s joked about it. like any other marine and the homoerotic shit poke once mentioned.

he’s not fucking gay for ray.

that’s the end of it.

 

it isn’t.

 

he keeps having almost conversations with himself about it. yes. in his mind he can call ray a twink. hell, if he wanted he could call him twink in front of everybody but it just doesn’t feel right.

he doesn’t mean it mockingly, that’s the fucking deal.

god, and–

he’s done thinking.

 

he calls ray.

but hangs up before he answers.

 

he promises not to think about it anymore because he can’t do anything about it.

maybe he’s hit his head too hard this time and it’s all there is.

no point in saying a word of it.

 

he gets a fucking letter from ray.

and he doesn’t even read it.

 

funny thing is he imagines what would it say.

he also fears ray is going to tell him he’s seeing somebody or is gonna get married.

it’s fear that keeps him from opening the letter.

 

but if he had he’d known that when he was rudely awakened almost a month later by ray himself that it was not a dream but actually real life.

 

so when ray throws himself to the bed and land on top of him. while he’s just opened his eyes and barely catches rays eyes he thinks why the hell not. it’s a dream.

he can’t even hear what ray says, but just kisses him. holding him by the waist. and it feels so real.

too real.

he opens his eyes once, twice.

“this is not a dream”, he mutters lips still pressed to ray’s.

 

and ray just smiles, detaches himself from brad’s hold. but stays on top of brad.

“that is the gayest thing i’ve ever heard”, he says.

 

and fuck it.

he kisses ray again.

**Author's Note:**

> ilu bb x


End file.
